CHAPTER NINETY- FIVE
WHY?
I had a baby.
A daughter.
I was going to show her the world,
raise her to be a strong woman.
But she died.
All that blood…
She must have suffered.
My poor baby.
I failed her.
Where did I go wrong?
I never should have gone through the back door.
I never should have entered that house.
I never should have entered that house.
I found a love
Suddenly, I was back in my room. I looked outside. It was all dark and gloomy, like my life was, but that didn't annoy me as much as the song blasting through the air.
Cause we were just kids when we fell in love,
not knowin' what it was
I will not give you up this time
Oh, darling, just kiss me slow,
your heart is all I own
And in your eyes, you're holding mine
Suddenly, I was back in my room. I glanced out the window. Darkness had swallowed the sky, casting the same gloomy shadow that had hung over my life for months. Yet, strangely, the gloom didn't bother me. The song blasting through the air did. It had ripped me from the only place I wanted to be.
Inside my own head.
I closed my eyes, hoping to slip back into the quiet sanctuary I'd been in only moments ago, and I did.
I had a baby.
A daughter.
Well, I found a woman,
stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday,
I'll share her home
I found a love to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own
Christ!
The melody filled every corner of the room, refusing to leave enough silence for my thoughts to breathe. An irritated huff escaped my lips. I tried again, but the song wouldn't let me back in. It lingered like an unwelcome guest, drowning out the peace I'd only just discovered.
This had Clément written all over it. Whenever Marcus wasn't around, he seemed to think the house was his personal playground.
With an exasperated sigh, I pushed myself to my feet and headed for the door, fully intending to have a word with the chef. The music grew louder with every step, vibrating through the walls and fuelling my irritation. I stormed towards the source of the noise, only to realise it wasn't coming from the kitchen at all. It was coming from Marcus's room.
This chef had to be out of his damned mind. What the fuck was he thinking, sneaking into Marcus's room?
Pure rage surged through me as I stormed towards the bedroom, every intention of tearing Clément apart for whatever twisted stunt he thought he was pulling. Without a second thought, I grabbed the doorknob and yanked the door open.
The words died in my throat as my entire body froze. Marcus was in bed, and he wasn't alone.
He was tangled in the arms of a woman beneath the sheets, their bodies pressed together in an intimacy that made my stomach lurch. Soft moans filtered through the room.
"Fuck!" I cursed, spinning on my heel and dashing for the door. Behind me, two startled screams rang out as they finally realised they weren't alone. I didn't look back. I couldn't.
By the time they called out, I was already on the other side of the door, my pulse thundering in my ears as I stumbled into the hallway, desperate to put as much distance as possible between myself and what I'd just seen.
Then it hit me, the point of the loud music was to drown out the noise.
Fuck, I am so stupid!
"Bewaji, wait," Marcus called out to me, but I walked on because I couldn't face him, not with the scene I'd just witnessed. Unfortunately, he was faster. He caught up to me and pulled me by the wrist.
"I am sorry you had to see that," he apologised.
"No, it was my fault. I should have knocked. I am so sorry." I couldn't even look at him. My gaze darted everywhere except his face.
"I knew I was not the only one in the house. I should have locked the door," he said, but before I could respond, my attention drifted past him. The young woman had stepped into the hallway, wrapped in a robe, her damp hair falling over one shoulder, and Marcus noticed where I was looking.
"This is..."
"Lucia, your girlfriend," I finished for him, and I moved towards her with my hand outstretched. "I am Bewaji Bendal. I have heard so much about you." She accepted my handshake.
"And I have heard so little about you."
I blinked.
Okay, was that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?
"That is because there is nothing to tell," I said as I laughed nervously, rubbing the back of my neck. "I am sorry about earlier. I didn't know you were around." She raised an eyebrow at me.
"And I don't just barge into other women's boyfriends' rooms, or any man's, for that matter. It's just that the music was loud, and it is never loud. So, I thought Marcus wasn't around and Clément was up to no good in Marcus's..."
"So, you came out because of the music?" Marcus cut in, looking at me.
"Yes, it was loud."
He folded his arms and gave me a pointed look.
"You have locked yourself in your room for four days now, and nothing I did or said made you open the door, but you came out because the music was loud."
"Well, it was distracting," I retorted.
"From what exactly? Because I am sure you were just staring into the air, locked in your head."
I glared back at him. "Are you for real?"
"Am I lying?" he blurted without backing down.
No, he is not.
I sighed, deciding not to argue. I turned back to Lucia and apologised again.
"I am so sorry. I wish we had met under different circumstances."
"Me too," she replied with a small smile.
I nodded before walking away. Without looking back, I called over my shoulder,
"Please... keep the music down."
I strode away.
The moment the door clicked shut behind me, I slid down until I was sitting on the floor, my back pressed against the wood.
A long, exhausted sigh escaped my lips.
Then the music got louder.
Not quieter.
Louder.
I groaned.
I stood up and placed my hand on the doorknob and realised that this was not my house. I was a guest here, and I couldn't tell Marcus what he could or could not do in his own house.
I tried retreating back into my broken mind, the safe little prison I'd been hiding in for days. But this time, it wouldn't let me in. The music had dragged me back into the world, and there was nowhere left to run, which meant there was nowhere left to hide from Dr. Berot's voice.
"Why did you stay?"
I drew my knees to my chest and rested my forehead against them.
The signs had been there.
The lies.
The loneliness.
The nights I cried myself to sleep while convincing myself tomorrow would be different.
And not to take about the fact that he also told me to my face that our marriage was for the paper and yet, I stayed
There had been a moment, a real chance to walk away before my life became this mess.
And I didn't take it, I'd stayed.
Why did I stay?
TO BE CONTINUED ON NEXT SATURDAY, 9.00PM WAT.
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